Let’s Talk Midlife & Menopause

What the Hell is Happening to My Body? (Understanding Menopause and Perimenopause)

A midlife mom’s guide to understanding menopause and perimenopause, without losing your mind or your sense of humour.

If you’re trying to understand menopause and perimenopause, let me help you: Menopause is ONE DAY. Wait, let that sink in. Read it again: One. Day. It’s the moment you’ve officially gone 12 full months without a period. That’s menopause. Before that? Perimenopause. After that? Postmenopause.

All the sleepless nights, the mood swings, the skin changes, the weight gain, and the 2a.m. “am I dying?” Google searches. That messy, confusing stretch can last years and it’s not “just menopause,” even though we’re taught to lump it all together. Menopause isn’t this tidy little chapter in midlife, it’s messy, it’s weird and it’s a lot. It’s a major life shift that no one really prepares you for. So let’s change that.

This page is the place to make sense of menopause and perimenopause. It’s where you realize you’re not the only one thinking, “WTF is happening to me?”

If you’re in your 40s or 50s wondering why your sleep sucks, your mood swings are next-level or your favourite jeans suddenly betrayed you. You’re probably not crazy. You’re just in the messy middle.

Before we dive in…

I created this page as a Certified Holistic Health & Menopause coach and more importantly, as someone who’s living it too. What you’ll find here isn’t medical advice. It’s real life support, tools, things I’ve tried (some helpful, some not), and a bit of humour and a whole lot of you’re not alone.

Take what serves you, leave what doesn’t.
You’re the expert on you.💛

Understanding Menopause and Perimenopause: What’s Actually Happening?

Let’s clear this up: menopause isn’t just one day when your period ghosts you. It’s a whole damn season and not the kind you look forward to. Technically, menopause is the moment you’ve gone 12 months without a period. Before that? Welcome to perimenopause, where your hormones throw tantrums, your sleep goes on strike and your internal thermostat short-circuits.

And after that 12-month milestone? Congratulations you’re in postmenopause, where the symptoms may still hang around like uninvited guests who refuse to leave.

☕️Here’s the deal:
Menopause messes with more than just your cycle. It touches everything, your mood, your energy, your body, your brain.
And if you’ve ever stood in front of the fridge wondering why you’re there… Yeah, that’s menopause, too. Here’s the part no one tells you: this isn’t the end it’s a shift. A chance to pause, reassess and take back control of your health, your mindset and your freaking thermostat.

Is This Perimenopause

Perimenopause is like that one friend who doesn’t text ahead before showing up, it just kind of arrives. One day you’re cruising along and the next… something feels off.

You might start noticing:

• Your periods are suddenly unpredictable; longer, shorter, heavier, lighter or just plain weird.
• Sleep? What sleep? You’re wide awake at 3 AM for no good reason.
• Mood swings that rival your teenage daughter’s (and you swore that would never be you).
• Hot flashes and night sweats that make you question if you’ve become a human volcano.
• Brain fog so thick you forget why you walked into the room.
• Your jeans don’t fit the same even though your eating habits haven’t changed.
• Anxiety or low moods that seem to come out of nowhere.

The thing is, perimenopause doesn’t show up the same for everyone. For some, it’s subtle. For others, it hits like a hormonal freight train. Either way, if you’re 40+ and feeling like your body’s running its own secret agenda… this might be it. Understanding menopause and perimenopause is the first step to taking back your energy, your body and your peace of mind, it is the first step to getting back in the driver’s seat.

Common Symptoms No One Tells you About (But I Will)

You’ve probably heard about hot flashes and mood swings, but let’s talk about the weird stuff. These are the things nobody warned us about in health class (or anywhere, really).

Here’s what they don’t put on the brochure:

• Random chin hairs. Like little overachievers, always on time, always uninvited.
• Itchy ears. Yep. Your ears. Because apparently nothing is off-limits.
• Itchy skin. Not cute dry winter skin, mystery itchies that show up like a bad plot twist.
• Hair playing hide-and-seek. Thinning on your head, disappearing lashes, vanishing brows… meanwhile, chin hairs are thriving.
• Boobs that change shape. Once up high and living their best life, now they’ve finally made it to your belly button. Congrats, ladies you’ve arrived.
• Vaginal dryness. Yep, we’re going there. And let’s just say… coconut oil is your new best friend.
• Joint pain. Waking up feeling like you did CrossFit in your sleep?
• Sudden rage over noises. Breathing, chewing, existing… it’s all too loud.
• Electric shocks. Like someone zapped you for fun. Thanks, hormones.
• Bloating that makes you wonder if you’re pregnant. Like, pregnant-level bloating. Some days you look four months along for no reason other than hormones and injustice.
• Emotional whiplash. Crying over a dog food commercial one minute. Rage-cleaning your kitchen the next.

Bottom line? If your body feels like it’s trying out a new personality every day…Congrats, you’ve hit perimenopause. It’s weird, wild and absolutely survivable. Bonus points if you can laugh about it on the way.

Natural Tools That Can Actually Help

Look, you can’t green smoothie your way out of menopause. However, there are tools that can make this season more manageable and less ragey.

Here are a few natural go-tos that actually help:

• Magnesium. The MVP. Helps with sleep, mood, anxiety and even those mystery body aches. If you’re not on magnesium yet… what are you waiting for?
• Adaptogens. Herbs like ashwagandha, rhodiola and maca can help support your stress response and hormone balance. Basically: plant-based backup for when your system’s screaming.
• Omega-3s. These healthy fats support brain health, reduce inflammation and may help with mood swings. Bonus: they’re good for your heart and your hormones.
• Weighted blanket. Not a supplement, but trust me, life-changing (unless you’re having a hot flash). Helps calm your nervous system and can ease those middle-of-the-night “why am I awake again?” moments.
• Movement. Walking, strength training, stretching. It doesn’t have to be intense, but your body wants to move. It helps with mood, metabolism and sleep.
• Hydration. Boring but essential. Dehydration makes everything worse, especially brain fog and fatigue.
• Mindfulness & breathwork. Not woo-woo. Just underrated. Even five minutes of slowing your breath can lower cortisol and calm your nervous system.
• Sleep hygiene. Your brain needs rest to survive the hormonal chaos. Cool bedroom, no screens before bed and yes, magnesium because it’s that good.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire life. Start small. Try one or two of these and build from there.
💛Your midlife body isn’t broken, it just needs a new playbook.

Lifestyle Shifts That Matter

You don’t need a total life overhaul. You just need a few intentional shifts. These shifts support the version of you that’s showing up now. Here’s what’s made a real difference for me (and a lot of the women I talk to):

• More sleep, less guilt. Midlife sleep is sacred, stop apologizing for needing it.
• Less hustle, more harmony. Productivity isn’t the prize, peace is.
• Daily movement that feels good. Not punishment, not performance. Just moving your body because it wants to be moved.
• Food that supports you. No more war with your plate, think fuel, not fear.
• Boundaries that protect your energy. Saying no is a love language now.
• Less scrolling, more connecting. With yourself, with your people, with nature, with joy.
• Checking in with your body daily. Noticing how you feel and what you need, and actually responding.

💛Small changes have big impact. Midlife is the perfect time to stop running on autopilot and start living with intention.

Mental Health & Midlife Mindset

No one really prepares you for how loud your thoughts can get in midlife. The quiet house, the shifting identity, the changing body, it all adds up. Suddenly, you’re not just dealing with hot flashes, you’re dealing with a full-on identity rewrite.

This phase can feel like a loss, but it’s also an opening. It’s a chance to let go of the old stories, to release the pressure to be everything for everyone. To pause and ask yourself, “What do I actually need now?”

Here’s what I’ve learned (and am still learning):

• You can hold gratitude and grief at the same time. Midlife is full of both. You don’t have to pick one.
• You are allowed to change your mind. About who you are, what you want and how you show up.
• Self-talk matters more than ever. If you wouldn’t say it to your daughter or your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.
• Your brain needs rest too. Meditation, breath work, nature, journaling, whatever quiets the noise and brings you back to yourself.
• You don’t have to do this alone. Support matters. Whether it’s friends, community, therapy or just someone who gets it. Seek it out.

💛Midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s a crossroads, and your mindset is the map.

Resources, Support & What’s Next

Midlife isn’t something you “get through”, it’s something you grow into. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach but, there are tools, communities and conversations that can make this season feel a lot less lonely and a lot more empowering.

Here’s what I want you to know:

• You deserve support that meets you where you are. Whether that’s information, encouragement, laughter or just someone who says, “Same.” You’re not the only one feeling this way.
• It’s okay to start small. One shift, one new habit, one brave conversation at a time.

I’m creating more resources for women navigating this midlife shift. These include wellness tips and product recommendations, mindset tools and personal stories. I’ve created a free guide to help you get started so you don’t have to figure it out alone.If you want something more structured to track your symptoms, patterns and progress? You can get my 30-day symptom tracker here.

You’re Not Alone In This💛

Midlife and menopause can feel like uncharted territory. The truth is, many of us are walking this same path. We just don’t always talk about it. Let’s keep figuring this out together. Messy, honest, empowered…just like midlife.

If you want to keep the conversation going, sign up for Midlife Notes; reflections, tools, and the in-between thoughts that don’t always fit into a guide or checklist.